Wednesday, 18 May 2011

The Art of Communication

Week Two

Chill Con Carne and Raspberry Cheesecake.

There is a re-occuring mince theme here.....will let you know if it's Shepherd's Pie or Spag Bol next week.

You know what I'm talking about, The Marriage Course

Now before last night we both felt communication was actually our strong point, we both love to talk, my husband definately more so than me.  We have never experienced an awkward silence.

And I love long distance conversations, you know the one's where you shout down to hubby in the garage, while you're in the bathroom?  Come on, that's not just me?

It would appear we have been doing it all wrong.  Apparently, you are meant to listen the whole time until they have finished speaking.  I agree with this in principle because interuption is one of my pet hates, but I have a husband and a daughter who will use a hundred words when twenty will do.

You have to put yourself in their shoes and try to appreciate the way they are telling you they feel.

Once you have listened for what may seem like a paint-dryingly long time, you have to summarise back to acknowledge you have understood what they said.

Then ask what is the most important part of what they said.

Finally, what do they want to come of the conversation you have just had?

Now, I don't want to dis the course.  If my husband and I had done this about three years ago, it may have done more harm to our marriage than good, because their were so many hidden depths and problems that we hadn't begun to even realise.  Having said that, maybe if we had done the course years ago, we may not have had to have gone through the most difficult times over the last couple of years, who can say.

I think we are fortunate in that we are naturally moving towards a better place anyway.  Of course I accept fully the importance of communication, and if this is an area where you feel you or your partner really struggle, then the above points aren't a bad starting place.

For me though, I think my way works.  Oh, just remembered as I type this from the dining room, there was something I wanted to talk to hubby about, now where is he?  Oh yes, garage..............

If you're still at this blogpost, I am feeling really encouraged and valued that you have read this far.  Please acknowledge you have understood what I said and leave me a comment.

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