My poetry is probably on par with my singing and guitar playing; I like it, but it’s not great!

Anyway, haven’t written one for many years. In fact, the last one was probably New Years 2009, which I remember as being quite maudlin, but I can’t find it anywhere.

At the beginning of last year I did want to meet my maker, and I’m glad that eventually I did – not in Heaven though, in my heart.

In the year of 2011, I didn’t quite make it to heaven,

I had wanted to but didn’t try very hard.

I think God had other plans, to hold me in his hands

And graciously he dealt me another card.

That left me filled with hope, and I felt like I could cope

With whatever came towards me in this life

Be it debts unpaid, or plans I make un-made

I am ready now for any kind of strife.

So hit me with your worst, I know I am not cursed

I will never be in the place where I once was
It has all been taken care of, by the one who knows every hair of;
Jesus Christ, my Saviour on the cross.

Is There A Good Time Of Year To Die?

Sadly, I know of three families who in the last week have lost loved ones.  It somehow seems to be made worse by the time of year.  But really, is there a better time of year to lose someone you love dearly?

I remember answering the phone to my father-in-law on a Christmas morning years ago.  I immediately sensed something was wrong, but said nothing and handed the phone to my husband who joyfully wished his Dad a "happy Christmas" only to hear back "well it's not very happy for me, my Dad's just died." Awkward.

If you know the person had been very ill and suffered for a while, is it wrong to think and possibly even worse to say, that actually, it's probably for the best?

I definitely have found myself thinking that over the last few days, but then, it wasn't someone I was close to that left me.

If you know the family didn't necessarily have a faith and you have no idea what their loved one believed, there are almost no words on earth to say, because you fear the worst for their soul.  You can't exactly offer "they've gone to a better place".

If you find yourself in a place of mourning at this time of year, I have nothing to say that will change how you feel or make it better.

But as we all know, if we are celebrating Christmas, we are celebrating the birth of The Saviour of the world, no matter what we are facing, what our circumstances are or how we are grieving, we can find hope in the birth that took place all those thousands of years ago.  If it were not true, the story would have faded and grown old, but the birth of Jesus is faithfully re-told every year, it stands the test of time.

Matthew 1:21 (NIV) She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.

I pray that you will truly find hope in the birth of that human baby conceived by God, who was born, and died, with the purpose to save every single one of us from our in-born sin.  There is hope and there can be peace for you this Christmas.

Weekly Song Round Up

The Script are one of my favourite current bands, some of their songs are quite challenging in questioning the existence of God and looking for something to believe in, but I can't deny their lyrical talent!

I was listening to them this week and 'I'm Yours' came on and I realised I was singing along and I was singing it to Jesus.

Jesus gave everything to us, and no matter how messed up we are He still wants to love us and spend time with us. For some unfathomable reason He values us! The least we can give Him is ourselves.

Can you say "I'm Yours" to Jesus?

The Father, Son And The Holy Go-between.........

We can all understand and identify with the Father & Son characters in the trinity, we all have a parent and we are all someones child, regardless of how that relationship has been for you, I think it is reasonable to say we can draw a parallel from our experiences to understand the identities of God and Jesus.

So The Holy Spirit, ever known one of those? Is the Holy Spirit there just to translate messages to and fro between us and God? When we finally 'get' a piece of scripture we've read a dozen times, is that the sum of the Holy Spirits role?

You could look at Him like that, but He is so much more.

Last night we read John 16, a passage I have heard many times, but for some reason last night it really moved me.  Probably just the Holy Spirit giving me a dig.

⁷ But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counsellor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.
⁸ When he comes, he will convict the world of guilt in regard to sin and righteousness and judgment:
⁹ in regard to sin, because men do not believe in me;
¹⁰ in regard to righteousness, because I am going to the Father, where you can see me no longer;
¹¹ and in regard to judgment, because the prince of this world now stands condemned.

Jesus is telling His disciples He has to leave them and go to Heaven to be with God, but instead another person will be with them in His place, the Holy Spirit.

Jesus sees that as a good thing, as a progression in the plan.  The Holy Spirit will highlight to us what is going on in the world. He will bring to our attention the sin in our lives and the need to make it right.

So, how to identify with the Holy Spirit? Ever watched the news and been enraged at injustice? Seen a charity fundraiser with images of starving children and cried in despair? Watched a country get torn apart by war and prayed desperately for peace?

If there were no God, you wouldn't feel emotion at such things, the Holy Spirit is God and we do all feel there are terrible injustices, that is the Holy Spirit opening our eyes to the truth around us.

Jesus took the form of man, so when He was on earth He could only talk to the people who were with and around Him, He couldn't be all over the world at once.  God is in Heaven and we are on earth,  the Holy Spirit is on earth so that God and Jesus can be with us whoever or wherever we are at all times.

What has the Holy Spirit revealed to you lately?

My Baptism. Oh, Happy Day!

Well I have finally been dunked!  My old life buried and my new one walking with Jesus just begining!  I am still on a high!

The day went perfectly, as if it had been planned down to the last detail, of course God had it planned!  I didn't even know who was speaking at the service or what I was going to say myself!  The music was great, I had all 3 of my song choices plus a couple of others! 

After the service we were walking home when I got a text from my friend who had 'dunked' me.  We had both got changed afterwards in our Pastor Paul's office. 

The text said "Did you leave wet knickers/bra under Pauls desk? Check! Mine checked and confirmed back into house inventory!"

You have never seen me unpack a bag so quickly, I was on the pavement pulling out wet clothes desparately hoping to see my underwear - which I did!

With friends like that.......I am blessed!

My family came and spent the day with us and so did my wonderful friends.  I was given many wonderful scriptures to encourage me and I am so pleased I have done the right thing!

A friend from Church captured the whole thing on video so if you would like to see it click here !  The dunk is about 9 mins in!

Thank you to everyone who is/has been reading this, I hope I can do nothing more than encourage you in your life with God, by sharing about mine.

God Bless You

The Power Of Forgiveness

Week Four

Chicken & Chips followed by Chocolate Gateaux

There were tears last night, not only because the chicken was a little to dry.  We were both a little hesitant about whether or not to go - we've done our forgiving.

I said whatever the excercises were around, we should avoid bringing up what was for us the obvious issue, that is in the past and is/has being/been dealt with.

............And still you find more, I always knew my husband was sensitive, but I had no idea how much the slightest little comments had stuck with him, he used to feel dread at coming home from the supermarket with the wrong ingredient for fear of a row.  Yes, I used to point out that he must've gone to the completely wrong aisle because they definately stock whatever, but no row ensued, because he just would not enter into one, he took my verbal lashing, then got on with the day. 

I knew how stubborn and awkward I was, but he just took it, and sometimes I knew I was trying to just get him to tell me I was horrible and useless and he couldn't stand me, because that's how I felt about myself, why could he not hate me like I hated myself?

I say used to because we both agree now I am a different person, I am calmer, less bothered about little things, appreciative of any help and most importantly I have fully accepted Jesus into my life, He isn't just a person I know about, I know Him, and I follow Him and this has made a vast difference to both our lives.

The key phrase for me last night was "buried anger turns to hate".  I had buried my undealt with anger from my childhood and transfered it into periods of hate towards my husband, mainly because I knew he would take it, even though he never deserved it. 

Then of course when he did do something that deserved my anger, it went off like a bomb because the anger not just towards him, but towards the events from my past came exploding out uncontrollably.

I forgave him for his behaviour at Easter 2010 - over a year ago.  We are both in dramatically different places now, he can tell me if I've p'ed him off, without thinking I'll leave him, and I can accept his kindness without thinking there's an alterior motive.

It has been a long road, and it got far worse before it even started to get better, and I do feel there are many miles ahead, but I don't feel we're at the crossroads anymore, we are both taking the same journey so we'll overcome the breakdowns and emergency stops together.