Friday, 2 September 2011

Weekly Song Round Up

How can I go forward when I don't
know which way I'm facing?
How can I go forward when I don't
know which way to turn?
How can I go forward into
something that I'm not sure of?

This has kind of been the last couple of weeks for me.  I don't know which way is up or whether I'm coming or going - but God does.

It's fair to say daily life has been a little bit of a struggle, marital problems, well-being not as good as it could be - and income - well, what's that?

Soooo hubby had taken over a lot of the running of the house, because a lot of the time I just wasn't firing on all cylinders, but at the same time we were praying for him to either find employment or establish a sustainable income through doing his own work whatever that may be.

This has been life for probably twoish years, frustration, anger, tears, hate, fear, and the tiredness, just wanting to sleep and never wake up.

It occured to me on many occasions that actually maybe our prayers for a job for hubby weren't being answered, because he was needed at home to look after the house and the kids and I hate to say it, me.

Although I knew financially it was desparately needed, I was terrified of it coming because I had no idea how I was going to slip back into the role I had so easily fallen away from.

Well it appears it has now come, it has crept up on us gradually, giving us a taster, showing us we have to cope, I do have to now make adjustments to my day and organisation is not my thing!

Hubby has been out working for two full weeks now, working for himself, and it looks like he may have some work for next week as well.

God knows I am struggling, it gets to 5 o'clock and I don't even know what we're having for dinner and it definately isn't in the house.  In fact a standard answer to "what's for tea?" is "I don't know, it's still in Tesco"

But things are going to have to change, and I take that as God showing me I am ready to take on more responsibility, I am getting better and I will be able to cope, my husband can go out and provide for his family and I can start to take care of things.

How can I go forward?  With God leading the way, I won't be afraid of praying for hubby to continue to get work and for me to have the strength to get through the day without him.

Isaiah 30:20-21(CEV)

The Lord has given you trouble and sorrow as your food and drink. But now you will again see the Lord, your teacher, and he will guide you. Whether you turn to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice saying, "This is the road! Now follow it."

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