Here I Am To Worship

I have always been a 'rock n roller' at heart.  In fact, I'm going to a fancy dress party next week where the theme is 'when you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up'........... I'm going as Joe Elliott from Def Leppard............ 
I know, I'm the wrong gender and being Joe Elliott isn't actually possible because Joe Elliott is Joe Elliott.

Growing up I loved listening to Def Leppard, Whitesnake, AC/DC, Led Zeppalin, The Who, yes, the devils music...........if they had tight ripped jeans, leather jackets, screaming guitars and drums I was hooked.





As you can imagine I didn't go a lot on the hymns we used to 'sing' at church accompanied by a spinster in her 70's on the organ!

Spot the mistake? This woman does not have a hat on!




But guitars and drums are the devils music, they can't be played in church - oh really?

Psalm 150:1-6

English Standard Version (ESV)

Let Everything Praise the Lord

150 Praise the Lord!
Praise God in his sanctuary;
    praise him in his mighty heavens!^[a]
2 Praise him for his mighty deeds;
    praise him according to his excellent greatness!

³ Praise him with trumpet sound;
    praise him with lute and harp!
⁴ Praise him with tambourine and dance;
    praise him with strings and pipe!
⁵ Praise him with sounding cymbals;
    praise him with loud clashing cymbals!
⁶ Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!
Praise the Lord!

Each week in church I have always loved the worship and really felt that is when I am most moved by the Holy Spirit, the words of the modern songs, which some traditional hymn singers frown upon, are very often a re-written Psalm! How can that be unacceptable?

As a child I had a dream, a dream for the future, where man, woman and child would stand and sing 'Happy Day' in church, and they might actually smile while singing it, where a group of musicians might accompany the singing with drums, guitars, keyboards, violins, trumpets, and maybe the frozen chosen would unpeel their arms from their sides, and occasionally clap along with the beat or give God a round of applauds at the end of their worship, where a beautiful, traditional, sentimental hymn, written 500 years ago can be followed by an uplifting modern worship song and give Gods people the strength and belief and hope to carry on and worship him more!

Would this dream ever become a reality? Sadly not as far as I know in any of the churches I attended as a child. No, I would have to cross over to the other side to see this dream realised I would have to become 'happy clappy' that's right, I would have to attend ...........a Baptist Church, dun dun duuuuun.

A few years ago the frustrated musician/performer/rockstar call it what you will, in me, wanted to take my worship to the next level, I wanted to join the worship band. So at the grand old age of 'late 30's' I decided once and for all I was going to learn to play the guitar, I had attempted it on and off teaching myself a few chords and strumming away, but I wanted to have some real tuition, so I called on my mate, whose husband who regularly plays in our worship group and made her an offer she couldn't refuse; lend me your husband for an hour a week and in return I will iron his shirts.

I made my debut in the worship group last Sunday and it couldn't have come at a better time for me.  My week had gone from good to bad to worse and I really thought how can I stand up there and do this? I'm not even talking to God at the moment, is this really the right thing for me to be doing? I talked to my closest friends who are also regulars in the band and they really encouraged me with sound words and good advice, and it turned out it was the right thing for me to do!
Worship is for God, whatever form it takes, but it has to come from the heart.

John 4:24

English Standard Version (ESV)

 ^"God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.”

If you are in a place where the worship isn't to your liking, don't assume it isn't to God's liking, if someone is waving a flag or dancing or clapping their hands or if the musicians are loud and the kids are running around, just take a moment to think these people are made by God and they are worshiping their God and he loves that, and the same goes for the organ playing spinsters who accompany the folk in their Sunday best, they are worshiping their God and if it is done in spirit and truth he loves them for it.

This is the song we opened with last week My Guardian and I have been singing it to God ever since, I think that is a sign of a good worship when you still sing the songs through the week and continue to worship your Lord.

Cassette Recordings and iPod Downloads

I can remember when I was about 10 years old and went to church every week, there was a very old man who used to regularly tape the services using a very modern cassette recorder. Now, nearly 30 years on (I'm definately not 40 yet!) services in the church I go to and churches all over the world are recorded and available via the internet. I know, who'd have thought in the future I'd still be going to church!



As a child I went to Church every week, 3 times a Sunday with my family. This wasn't a grand Church of England church with stained glass windows, pews and carved memorials in the walls, that might have entertained my wandering mind. 

It was a purpose built, for want of a better word 'hut'. And it wasn't called a Church, it was a Gospel Hall, and we didn't go to 'church' we went to 'the meeting'. So when I refer to going to church, I'm actually talking about a small group of about 30-40 people who all met on a Sunday, at the same times and sat in the same seats to hear the same story, which to me at the time seemed pointless.

I used to look up at the tiles on the ceiling, they were polystyrene with an indented pattern and depending on how I squinted I could make the cubes jump in or out, and if I got particularly bored of that, I would count them and multiply them - I really should be a lot better at maths than I am, given the amount of 'revision' I put in on a Sunday!

But it was the regular recording of the service by Uncle Percy, (who was almost 100 at the time) that I have been thinking about a lot lately. As far as I was concerned, we were sitting through excruciating boredom first time around, why would anyone record this to listen to it again?! His stubby old man fingers, carefully waiting to press record and play simultaneously as the speaker began his message just baffled me, nowadays such recordings are a matter of course, and available for download by whoever wants them.

So nearly 30 years on, I often wonder what surprises me more, that I now regularly go to a church and very much enjoy it, or that I scour the internet looking for services I might've missed, or think I'll find interesting to download to my iPod!

Boy do I wish the internet and iPods had been invented when I was a kid, there was just no discreet way of smuggling a bright red Sony Walkman into a meeting to listen to Thin Lizzy instead of the boring speaker! And if you'd got caught there was no excuse, no quick touch of a screen and 'look, I'm not on facebook, it's my online Bible app! What did you think it would be?'

                 
                 

I'm sure Uncle Percy and the likes of that time would be overwhelmed with the resources available to us today through which to hear Gods word spoken and taught! Here are some of my favourite links:

Unbelievable Radio Show Each week this show pits a believer against a non-believer to discuss topical issues and occasionally has two believers coming from differing angles, always a good show!

Liquid Church An American Church, most sermons by Tim Lucas. Upbeat preaching but always with an excellent message!

Tim Keller is a Theologian who has done some thoughtful series on believing in God and how it makes sense to us.

Reasonable Faith Dr Willaim Lane Craig answers the apologetics questions of the time.

Thornbury Baptist Church Better plug my own Church! Paul Ferguson does most of the services but other favourites to look out for are Dave Day and David Lawrence!

I've been thinking about this because as I said, I love to look online for Bible sermons or commentaries that interest me, if I miss a service at the church I attend and it's a speaker I enjoy, I know I can go onto the website and download the talk, and almost every time I put my earphones in and slide my finger across the screen of my phone, I think of old Uncle Percy and his cassette recordings...........

Why Pray?

It's often said God gives three answers to prayer - "yes", "no" or "wait".......we seem to be getting the bulk of the "no" answers at the moment and it really does make me think 'why am I even praying?' I thought I'd be really clever and prove my point by specifically not praying and then if what I would've prayed for went the right way - case proved - circumstantial!

Don't misunderstand me and think I am losing my faith, I completely know God is there and loves me and cares about what I need, but I am starting to think what happens to us in this life is very much down to our own control and circumstances, the thing is..........I can't not pray!

I have developed such a relationship that even if the answer is going to be "no" I still find peace in having had the conversation and I know I will look back at this period of time in the future and make sense of the "no's"!

So I still pray, but avoid the specific subject of our want/need at the moment! I know many of my friends are praying for the same thing for us so I leave it in their hands! Pressure!

I have found recently the easiest way for me to pray is to elaborate on the Lord's Prayer something like this:

"Father, you are the one true God,

the only God who deserves all my praise & worship.

I pray that your world will be filled with people who follow you,

& every day your work will be done.

Thank you for all you've provided & continue to provide for me & my family.

Please forgive me for the things I've said & done that've hurt you & others,

help me to think before I act & help me to forgive others who hurt me.

Help me to not be tempted by things that are not good for me

& keep me safe from things that can harm me.

In your son's precious name. Amen"

Why pray? Because Jesus taught us to, and whether we believe it or not and even when it seems like God's not there, He is, and He's listening and it'll all be alright in the end, and if it's not alright, it's not the end!

Die Hard, A Story For Lent?

We're half way through Lent now, and I've seen the usual facebook posts and heard from friends who are missing chocolate or caffeine or whatever it is they've given up.

I asked my husband if I should give up tea, to which he replied "no way, it'll be too hard......for me".  It's true I don't move from HQ (my bed) until I've had a cuppa, but I kind of thought the whole point of Lent was to forego the things we would miss, and at the point we're about to combust because we haven't had our sugar rush or caffeine fix or whatever it might be, we turn to God and spend that time in thankful prayer! 

I've never given anything up for Lent, so thought it would just be silly to start this year (I don't think God minds!)

But I heard an interesting Lent story this week about a man who had given up 'fear of people' for Lent! He had decided that throughout Lent, whatever he felt led by the Holy Spirit to do, he would step out and do it without fear!  My first thought was I'd get to day 40 and sheepishly glance upwards and wonder why I hadn't been asked to do anything!

One thing this guy did was to go to the cinema and see Les Mis, he really felt he had a message for the people who would be there and had been prompted by God to step out of his comfort zone and face his fears, so before the film started he announced to the audience, "this film is about forgiveness and redemption and if you want to know true forgiveness you really should meet Jesus!" Ballsy or what?!

It made me wonder if I'd missed a trick when I went to see Die-Hard, should I have perhaps stood in front of the whole cinema and announced "this film is about.......well who cares really, but there's a great car chase, lots of shoot outs and Bruce Willis dangles from a jeep which dangles from a helicopter, falls about 100 feet through many plate glass windows and lives! But if you want to know true eternal life, you have to meet with Jesus! Yippee ki yay!"

Trust Me - I'm A Youth Leader!

I've just returned from my first weekend away as a youth group leader, I use the term 'leader' loosely because I'm not sure I always lead in the right direction, and am often accused by the kids of being a bigger kid than them!

Although I grew up in Christian surroundings I wasn't one of those kids who lived for the camps - in fact the only two I remember going on as a kid didn't leave me with great memories, I came home from one infested with head-lice, and the other one I spent a whole day in tears and didn't really know why!

Funnily enough it was to be at the same place I spent a week and a tear soaked day as a child, that we were to return to with the youth group from our church, so I wasn't sure what emotions it might evoke. 

We went across to Woodcroft Christian Centre which is only about 30 mins drive from where we are, which is a bonus for whoever has to drive the minibus, because listening to the onslaught of vocal renditions ranging from S Club 7 to Queen, or various entire Monty Python sketches being recited word for word by a large group of teenagers is a lot to ask of anyone; so top tip for booking a youth weekend away......go local!

The theme for the weekend was 'trust' and we covered all angles, from trusting God and our faith to trusting peoples advice, and of course how we recover from broken trust. 

I hope and pray the kids got something out of it, I think they did, we'll find out more over the coming weeks in our group together.  But I know I got something out of it.  My slot was to cover trusting God, and in my preparation I was reminded of a verse I had come to a long time ago while praying during a desperate situation:

Psalm 28:7(NIV)

The Lord is my strength and my shield,

my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.

My heart leaps for joy,

    and with my song I praise him.

It was so good to be reminded of this verse again and find the trust in God that I needed to for my present situation.

Aside from worship and talks and a couple of workshops, there was time for the kids to have one to one talks with leaders. I don't know if as a teenager I would've opened up to an adult about certain situations, but I know as an adult I wish I had, so I think it's great that we can build those relationships and provide the environment for them to talk - only if they wanted to of course, it was all very relaxed.

Both nights two other leaders and myself stayed up till 1am for 'late night chat'. The first night was great, a few testimonies were shared which was very moving and I feel privileged to have heard them, and some theological questions asked, and it was wonderful to see just how seriously these youngsters take their understanding of the Bible and they want to talk and ask their peers their understanding of certain texts.

Night two and we thought we'd try and spice it up a bit by allowing an anonymous questions bag, improvisationaly provided in the form of a wash bag and some post it notes! I'm not sure who managed to lower the tone more - the kids or the leaders; the best question was.....oops no, sorry, what gets said in 'late night chat' stays in 'late night chat', the weekend was based on 'trust' after all!

We finished up the weekend with Christmas dinner and Secret Santa gifts (I know, it's February, don't ask!) and I have to say I was more than chuffed with my gift, I don't know who it was from, but it was a book I have wanted for a little while now, Heaven: It's not the end of the world by David Lawrence (maybe I'll get him to sign it next time he speaks at our church!)

So, I survived my first weekend away with 18 teenagers as a leader! Would I go again? Definitely!

Adam And Eve Or Adam And Steve?

I have listened to the latest 'it's ok to be a gay Christian' conversations with Steve Chalke, hosted both times by the fabulous Justin Brierly! Steve has also written for Christianity Magazine on his affirmation of same sex monogamous long term relationships.

One of Chalkes arguments is that we have moved on from the position in the Bible that women must be silent and not take part in church services, so we should now move on and accept that when the bible talks of relationships it refers to both gay and straight. But there are also positive accounts in the Bible of women who are prophets and teachers and highly regarded, so that doesn't really stack up with  moving on to accept homosexuality, which is always looked at negatively in the Bible.

So lets look at a subject in the Bible which similarly to homosexuality is never portrayed positively.......say 'gluttony'.  I know many many more fat Christians than gay ones, they are afforded the same rights within the church as the Christians with the perfect BMI.........


I have to say four or five years ago my views were very black and white, there was little room for movement, or even listening with an open mind in some cases. I would very much have said 'you cannot be a Christian and be gay'. I completely believe now that is entirely wrong! The only thing that prevents you from being a Christian is rejecting Christ. Some people may interpret being gay as having rejected Christ because it goes against what he taught.  

But that is not the case, Jesus never mentions homosexuality; he mentions a lot about loving each other and helping the poor and needy and not judging each other, not holding grudges, not to worry, how to pray, being wise and thoughtful, not to be greedy or jealous, not to be proud or boastful, to stay faithful in marriage..........are you keeping up? Anyone ready to throw a stone yet? John 8:7

So maybe if Jesus didn't see the need to teach specifically about it, maybe we don't need to be coming out and stamping our position on it? Of course within our churches we need to be able to hear the small percentage of people who are attracted to the same sex and counsel them accordingly - that does not mean counsel them into straightness, that means counsel them into accepting who they are and what that now means for their life, and that they are loved by God and a most precious and unique individual who is worthy of the same respect as anyone else......and that goes for fat people too! 

It's OK to Be A Gay Bishop.....As Long As You're Celibate?

I am not sure I should be venturing into these muddy waters, because I have only ever been in a Church of England service for four reasons: Weddings, Christenings, Funerals and school end of term services. Also I don't want to come across as a Christian homophobe! 

I know a lot of genuine C of E Christians, I also know of C of E members (including vicars) who do not actually believe in the resurrection of Jesus Christ; but I don't know a lot of how the C of E church operates, I don't understand the difference between the different people at the front wearing the white robes - or even why they wear the white robes, I'm not sure what the significance of the big hats are, does your hat get bigger the higher up the ranking you go?

I am not sure where in the ranking the Bishops come, but no-one could have failed to miss the news last year that women were not going to be able to become Bishops, for secular folk this seemed like out-dated sexist nonsense.  

The Bible does say about 'women being silent, covering their heads' etc. but it also has women as prophets and leaders and teachers and servants of God, you always have to look at the cultural context of whichever passage you are reading, (that does not mean anything I don't agree with, I pass off with 'that was for the olden times, it doesn't apply now!).  

Some churches would not have women taking part in any way, I myself was brought up with that view, and it still holds in many religious meeting places today. But I have since made my own studies and think that it is acceptable for women to take a full part in services, some of the best sermons I have heard have been from women!

Anyhoo, that's by the by, what has got my interest stirred up now is that the C of E will allow gay clergy to become Bishops.......if they remain celibate! 

Now in light of the women ruling, that just does not make sense to me! If you won't allow a woman to be a Bishop, I'm assuming because of Biblical readings, how can you allow a celibate homosexual to be a bishop? Women in the Bible kind of go both ways (if you'll pardon the pun!) I mean, it can be read that they must never even speak, yet some are teachers, so there is an area of studying and learning to go through, in order to come to the decision your church takes.

But homosexuality in the Bible is a big no no! Please keep reading before you misunderstand me entirely! I am not here to judge gay people, I think they look like a lot of fun! One of my favourite gays is Cam on Modern Family! 

But sorry, you can't be a Bishop. How can you be in a high ranking position within an institution in which homosexuality is unacceptable, and be gay?  That's like having a drugs baron as head of the prison service as long as he promises not to deal! 

If you are in a loving relationship, an expression of that love is to have sex. I think the C of E are being quite patronising to gay people with this ruling. Either they accept homosexuality and all that comes with it, civil partnerships, sexual relationships, or they don't, and then make their Bishop judgements accordingly.

It seems to me the C of E are all over the place with trying to be PC, and have thrown the Bible out and are basing their decisions on entirely personal reasoning, not doctrinal study. In which case they shot themselves in the foot with not going ahead with women bishops, maybe they could back-track and say, it's ok for a women to be a bishop, so long as she doesn't wear a bra, or as long as she promises to have a sex-change, they'd be well up for that, a transgender Bishop would really tick the PC box.