Friday, 29 April 2011
Having not shown the slightest bit of interest in the build up to R.W.D (Royal Wedding Day) I was surprised when I found myself glued to it this morning!
My intention was if it's a bright sunny day we'll take the kids out somewhere, but if we happen to be at home I will chanel surf past it just to show willing.
Well I put it on at 10am with the intention of having it as background noise, and before I knew it myself and 3 of the kids were all comfortably sat watching it, complete with drinks and the last of the Easter chocolate!
I did feel a little uncomfortable when the camera kept zooming in on Elton and hubby, and while they took their vows I cringed a little, at the many millions of people who take those vows only for them to be broken, Williams parents included.
I do not make judgements on gay people or divorcees, I myself am a sinner who has fallen short of God's glory, but, whereas in a human way I felt a little embaressed and uncomfortable about what God must make of it all, what I must remember is we are all created by God and part of his plan, and he will show us love no matter what, and I guess until the day of judgement comes when we have to answer to him we may never know all of what truely embaresses or offends God.
That said, didn't they look gawwwwjusss...........
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Easter Sunday morning one of my daughters and myself sung in our church Easter choir group - nothing unusal in that, other than I have been told since forever that I cannot sing! However, the only requirement to join the group was the ability to make a 'joyful noise'!
Friday, 22 April 2011
It is a beautiful sunny day, the kids have played together happily, all four of them! We have had a lovely cooked lunch, and I am looking forward to going to the communion service at our church later.
That last sentence is not something I ever thought I would hear myself clicking out of a keyboard. I am still very much enjoying my renewed (if not new) faith in our wonderful God. It comes so naturally now to want to take part in services and worship and teaching and learning.
This will be my first Easter since personally accepting God's gift of his precious son Jesus on the cross for me! I am expecting to be emotionally moved and that isn't a usual pre-occupation of mine. My grasp of God's love for me is even more real because I now love him back, how could I not? I have been made rightous through his blood, I have a personal relationship with him, He will always be there for me.
My thoughts were more consumed with a death without God, now I am enjoying living a life with God.
Sunday, 17 April 2011
Like Joyce Meyer says "the only way to get out of debt, is the opposite to how you got into it!"
But even better is what it says in Psalm 84:11 “Our Lord and our God, you are like the sun and also like a shield. You treat us with kindness and honour, never denying any good thing to those who live right”
We live rightously because Jesus took our guilt on the cross, so whenever I start to worry about how to make the next payment or buy the next meal, I just say to God I know you will not withhold anything I need from me!
Saturday, 16 April 2011
Thursday, 14 April 2011
I looked into the sky and saw two clouds, one small one, sat centrally above a huge fluffy one. The big one reminded me of the safety cushions stunt men land on. This to me, immediately represented me and God and his message to me was "when you fall, I will catch you", when I next looked up the sky was clear blue, no trace in sight of the two clouds.
Over the next couple of years my life would take some turns that would see me really need God, the most significant of which was an area in my marriage in which I would need to excercise forgiveness - that did not come easily and I found myself in church a lot talking to our pastor at that time.
On one of those occasions in which my Pastor was ministering me I had an experience of deliverence from a spirit of 'restraint', I think this had a lot to do with my Brethren upbringing and my refusal to accept God loved me.
As the time went on I needed some additional help in the form of anti-depressants and counselling, something I fought hard against in the first place, but would now probably recommend to anyone!
This took me to the point where in January of this year I didn't want to be here (on Earth) anymore, it was in the early hours of the morning and I begged God to take me in my sleep, it would be the best thing for everyone, I started to see a small white light in front of my eyes and felt so relaxed, I truly thought I was going to go and join God in Heaven and I felt so good about it, I dreamily said goodbye to my husband who was sleeping next to me. This wasn't a white light tunnel experience, just a small white dot in front of my eyes and a feeling of peace, I was thanking God for coming for me and really feeling I was ready to go, when suddenly the light dissappeared and a voice in my head said "not now". I sat bolt-upright in bed and was waving my hand in front of my eyes looking for the light, which had now gone. I had to accept what God had told me, this wasn't the time for me to go, and that somehow I had to live each day the best way I could. I realised my cloud prophecy had been realised, I wasn't going to fall any lower than that, and I definately did not fall through - God caught me.
It was a few days later again in the early hours of the morning that I truly accepted Jesus as my Saviour. The events of the last few years and the counselling had my made me question all sorts of things, not least my childhood, it was while this was running around my brain I had the realisation that I was God's daughter! Amazing! It didn't matter how many times people had told me that, I had never believed it for myself until then!
On that night I wrote down these words Loved, Forgiven, Accepted, Individual.
I now had a heart knowledge of God, not just a head knowledge!
Anyway, that is a brief testimony! I could, and maybe one day will, elaborate on what I consider are the four main spiritual points in the testimony.
- The cloud prophecy
- The deliverance of 'restraint'
- The white light and God's timing
- Realisation of who I was and giving my life to God
My life now makes sense spiritually and since accepting Jesus into my heart fully, not only have I seen the change in myself, but my husband has also said he has seen a newness in me also.